Friday, 27 November 2009

I don't care who's it is, it's floating.

Who's got clean balls?

Glad to see CONI (Italian Olympic doh dah peeps) have decided to sue Rebellin for being a cheating git, Good. Lets hope that they're successful. In addition they want the 75,000 Euros he got for winning a silver back. It's about time scum cheats get hit in the pocket, I was going to say 'get hit where it hurts' but lets face it, if they haven't got the balls to race clean, they haven't got balls for you to kick.

And in Spain another doping ring has been uncovered, this one's called Operation Grial. What the fuck do they want a new anti doping operation for? They haven't finished the first one yet, greedy bastards.
Why don't they combine the two, Operation Puerto-Grail could then vanish up it's own arse, which would no doubt make a lot of people happy. Currently 12 people are being questioned and if we look at the form of the Spanish law we can expect exactly 0 people to be locked up.

And if there was any doubt about who kicks doper arse you only have to go back to Italy to see Gianna da Ros sobbing in the corner after being handed a 20 year ban. Wow, how great is that? Just think how much better the world would be if all the fuckers that doped over the last decade were banned to 20 years.

Once a floater, always a floater.

Jesus Christ, does a bloody week ever go by without Schumacher and his lawyer shooting their mouths off in public? This week Schumachers lawyer claimed that CAS decision to ban Claudia Pechsteinfor having irregular blood values, not I should add for actually failing a test, was “a witch hunt” and would inevitably mean that his lovely client would now almost certainly be banned.
Now you could argue the Pechsteinfor case long into the night, but IMHO guilty or not she has obviously been banned just to piss off Schumacher and his poxey lawyer chum. Which kind of makes it more than acceptable if you ask me.

And so David Kopp has almost served his 12 months ban (administered only this week) and will beck riding at the end of the year. And what was Kopps heinous crime? Shoving the Columbian nose powder up hi hooter like there's no tomorrow apparently. So, er, here's the bit I don't get, Boonen ! Both have powdered their nose and both have done it in Belgium, so er.... right, me neither.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Oh you little ray of sunshine

Back on that track, right?

Amongst the many and obvious highlights of this last weekends World Cup at Manchester were the return to the boards of a couple of 'old faces'.
Andy Tennant in the team pursuit and Matt Brammeier in the points and scratch, both have spent a couple of years in the proverbial cycling wilderness. Now I don't know where this wilderness is, but it must be bloody crowded, there seems to be a continual stream of cyclists in and out of it, but Andy and Matt have escaped and it was great to see them back in action.

Both are ex members of the BC academy, Andy had been a junior world champion, whilst Matt was in the first group of riders to join Rod Ellingworths 'boot camp', that first flowering at the academy included both Ed Clancy and Mark Cavendish, so just think yourself lucky that you were too old and too crap to ride with that lot.

Both had suffered illness & injury and whilst lesser riders would have thrown in the towel they continued riding and hopefully both have come through their dark night. And man did they come back in style? Andy rode to the 2nd fastest TP time ever and Matt whilst looking totally knackered showed that all those months riding the boards at Manchester were not wasted as he showed great positional sense and timing of a natural racer to make the winning break and come in 4th, a great result for him and a great result for the Irish team.

Oh and whilst I'm on the subject it was great to see a decent size Irish squad, riders in the womens points and scratch, riders in the mens points and scratch, riders in the IP and a TP squad. Come on, built a track in Dublin guys.

Didn't see that one coming did you!

Cadel Evans wins the worlds, how unexpected was that? Well, maybe not as unexpected as you would think, Cadel was clearly in stonking form after Spain and if the Gods of cycling were awake then he would have won his first GT. Sadly the curse of the English speaker befell him, but he was clearly on great form. So a top 10 place would have been a decent bet, but it's Cadel, come on Cadel would have to attack to win the worlds and well, you know, it's Cadel, right?
Well wrong, I for one was cheering and shouting at the screen when he went and IMHO it was a totally brilliant win, Cadel backed himself and proved that he is a winner, it was a great result and one I thoroughly enjoyed - Thank you Cadel, it brought a big smile to my day.

So, how many of you were surprised when he pitched up at BMC? Almost as many I'd guess, we all knew that Lotto wasn't the best team for Cadel so a move was always on the cards. The problem with Lotto was that they had a potential GT winner on their books but with a couple of exceptions the team was built for Spring Rain and not Summer Sun.
Signing Cadel was an odd move, I mean how can you sign a GT podium rider and not pack the team with climbers and TTT fast boys? No I don't know either, and it appears neither did Cadel or the Lotto management and as a result Cadel spent too many years lacking the support that he needed. So good luck at BMC Cadel, lets hope they get a few skinny blokes on their books to keep you company when the road goes up.


Tuesday, 3 November 2009

A plastic bottle cider and a packet of nuts.

Sod me, the bloody UCI are at it again, non?

So the UCI and AFLD are at each others throats again, each claiming that the other is shit and couldn't run a doping control if their life depended on it.
According to the AFLD the UCI testers were far from discrete at this years Le Tour. apparently their secret arrival at team hotels were heralded with the sound of klaxon and the man from the UCI shouting down a megaphone 'We're here for your blood, we're here for your blood', of course the UCI have responded with the claim that AFLD only took blood from hotel waiters and chambermaids.
Now I think the AFLD must be confusing the UCI with some other dope testing organisation, perhaps some other organisation who at a recent world masters in OZ selected a medal winning rider for testing, only to change their mind and go and find someone else when said rider couldn't find their racing license or any proof or identity.

Bend over and feel the force!

Still Uncle Pat is all for equality with in the sport, so it's inevitable that riders and fans should all get shafted in a fair and equal manner.

The UCI have excelled themselves this year, their recommendation to make changes to the Olympic track programme is sanctimoniously brilliant and a load of bollocks.
Obviously women and men should have exactly the same events, so why has it taken the IOC and the UCI this bloody long to realise this and do something about it?
But instead of expanding the programme we lose as many events as we gain and this a is apparently good for our sport.

But never mind, Uncle Pat has announced this is because 'people want to see exciting racing' so out goes the individual pursuit and in comes the Omnium. The IP was pretty straight forward wasn't it? I mean I don't have a PHd, but I could grasp it, everyone rides and the fastest 4 go into the medal ride offs, rider against rider, fastest wins, er pretty simple that. So that's out and the Omnium is in, even I dont' know what events will make up the fecking Omnium and I spend most of my waking hours at the bloody track, how the hell is Joe and Josephine public going to get excited by that?

Never mind though, because even though the brave new world now contains the Omnium the UCI have failed to include it in this years world cup. Christ you can tell Uncle Pat is not a trackhead, you really can, he obviously thinks that by somehow having a single event made up of a points race, a scratch, an IP, a Kilo and a 200, he is somehow sneaking a whole load of extra events into the Olympics without the IOC realising what's going on

Having the Omnium in and the IP out is a bit like the Athletics losing the 400m because there's a 400m in the decathlon. Brilliant.

I'm so excited, I'm so excited.

No really I am, riders leaving teams and going to other teams, sponsors leaving the sport and sponsors coming into the sport, riders getting banned for doping and riders getting unbanned for doping. It's really been a poor year fro those of us with a psychotic hatred of dopers. Now I don't mean that the 52 or so that have been caught with their pants down and the proverbial up their jacksey, oh no any doper getting caught is IMHO a bloody good thing. No, what's pissed me off is the feckers keep coming back, yes, yes I know they have served their time, I know they are all innocent and I know that it was all a mistake. But it really is taking the fecking piss when vinokourov, chicken boy and that twat Ricco are all either back with us or on their way. For some reason this unholy trio repulse me even more than Schumacher and Kohl. Still 52 this year, that's a bus full.

A bus full, what's he on about? Well, I used to work with a guy who when someone pissed him off would return to the office and say 'they're on the bus'. One day I asked him what this meant and I received the following explanation, a bus / coach has 52 seats on average, when someone pissed him off he would imagine them sitting comfortably on the bus and when he had a bus full he would imagine it plunging over a 200 metre drop and crashing onto the rocks below killing all inside.
Now whenever I read of another dopeer twat being caught I reserve them a place on the bus.