Thursday, 9 October 2008

Getting down with the thieves of glory.

Good news Mrs Hamilton, it's twins.

In a somewhat less than shocking turn of events Schumachers Lawyer has expresses doubts about the testing procedures that caught his client.
Apparently Schuey is "totally destroyed and has withdrawn from everything", oh dear, how sad, my heart bleeds, it really does, Poor old Schumacher is upset that after taking a couple of doses CERA he has been found positive at a dope test, been sacked by his team and now has the German fuzz turning his place over and taking away 'items' for evidence.
My view is that the first rider to say 'it's a fair cop' on getting caught, should be allowed to get off scott free, not that it's ever likely to happen is it, denial and stupidity seem prerequisites for the average dope head and it is clear that Schumacher has theses in abundance.

Talking of abundance, the Tyler Hamilton twins have been speaking (in unison I must assume) to the fine VeloNews and amazingly confides in us that 'I’m still scarred. I’m not the same person I was before, that’s for sure'
Whooo, there, hold the front page, hang on I'll just pick myself up from the floor. I thought the Hamilton boys had returned to as cyclists, not stand up comedians. 'I'm not the same person I was before.' Well who the flipping heck are you then? I thought you were twins, I'm sure that was you brilliant defense, now if you're not the same person is that just one of you? both of you? or what? Are there now four of you, oh my God, this is getting to confusing.
Still another caught doper complains, I assume that 'I'm still scared' counts as a complaint, that they've had it tough, oh boo hoo, what a shame. It's the same old story that makes me sick, you take dope, you assume you have a right to take dope, you get caught, you're not happy with the fact that you get banned, you assume that you should get off free and be allowed to race again.
The reason I'm all for life bans has nothing to do with stamping out doping in the peloton, no it's all to do with shutting up ex dopers and stopping them bleating on and on about how tough things are. Giving you medals back Tyler? Thought not.

Me ol' bamboo, me ol' bamboo, you'd better never bother with me ol' bamboo.

British Cycling have always had an eye on the future. It was cutting edge technology and design that helped the Gold fest that was the Olympics and Worlds this year. But in a recent development BC have announced that they are looking not just towards 2012 but to 2052.
The assumption is that by 2052 the cost of certain materials currently used to build bikes will be prohibitively expensive and will therefor be banned by the UCI and IOC. With this in mind BC is looking to other materials, the assumption is that it will be compulsory to make bikes out of resources that are both renewable and biodegradable. And so the much heralded secret squirrel club is to be superseded by the newly named Pander club. This group of top research scientists and mechanics will be led once again by Chris Boardman. The reason for the name is that the new wonder material identified by BC as the key material in bike building for 2052 will be bamboo.

Bamboo init......

So whilst the above will not be the actual models that are raced on come 2052, they are the first steps along the way.

There is also talk of a skinsuit that recycles water. Apparently 'top boffins' are researching a suit that will convert sweat into drinkable water, that will be fed back to the rider via a small tube that is attached to the zip. This it is hoped will eliminate the need to have as many stops either to take on additional water bottles or to, how can we put this politely, ah yes, take a piss.

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