Wednesday, 15 October 2008

I could do that.

Michael Rasmussen steps up the training.

Someone recently accused me of thinking I could run world cycling. I took this, incorrectly it turns out, to be a compliment.
Whilst head of the UCI may well not quite be my dream job it would tide me over until the master of the universe position became vacant. (I know there's a connection, doesn't master of the universe report to the head of the UCI?)

Initially there would be a few changes which may take a little getting used to. For example along with life bans for doping there would be life bans for excessive winging and looking a bit odd (which would have eliminated Kohl and Schumacher before any of the current problems started).
Teams would be excluded from major events for riding ugly bikes and having a badly designed jersey. Ex-Dopers would be invited back, providing they raced in a clowns costume.
Look I know there are potential pitfalls here, but hey, I think I should be allowed a shot at it, lets face it the above plan is no worse than what currently takes place is it?

Unemployment figures set to ride from January 1st 2009.

Uncle Pat (the man who currently keeping the chair warm for me) has just announced that from Jan 1st 09, dopers will face a ban of up to 4 years. The reason for this and not his (and indeed most fans ) favored length of life is that the UCI have to remain with in WADA rules.
But that aside it is wonderful news, it will in effect finish the careers of anyone caught on the juice.
The four year ban is to be handed out for 'willful cheating'. This willful then is I suppose the opposite to cheating where by you accidentally pick up the syringe of EPO and accidentally stick the needle in your arm and accidentally inject yourself. Which guessing from what Kohl, Schumacher etc have been saying exactly what has been happening.

Meanwhile at the chicken farm....

Michael Rasmussen is set to challenge the CAS ruling that he is an ugly son of a bitch that deserves to be kicked from pillar to post by anyone who claps eyes on him. Not content with fleecing Rabobank for 700,000 Euros via a civil action, he now clearly want's to be back riding next season. Cant't wait. (OK I know Rabo weren't blameless here and should have done thing better, but, you know... it's the chicken for God sake)
Personally I hope he's successful, I also hope that the full realisation that having returned to the sport he is totally unemployable and that no one in the sport will touch the freak would be enough to send him into an abyss of madness from which he never recovers.

I have stated previously that I regard the 6-day season as the height of bike racing, so you can imagine my apoplexy with the news of the cancellation of the Stuttgart 6-day (or the Tour of Stuttgart as VeloNews called it) due to the escapades of Messers Kohl and Schumacher and the effect on sponsors and fans.
In my experience once a 6-day goes it almost never returns. Germany despite a number of 6-days does not have a flourishing track scene so this will help nail the lid shut in what little there is. Well done Guys, impressive performance.

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