Tuesday, 21 October 2008

The winning lottery numbers are.......(ask Contador)

You too can state the blindingly obvious.

In a statement that would have impressed any fair ground palm reader AC (that's Alberto Contador and not AC from operation Puerto) has said that should Alexander Vinokourov return to Astana there could well be problems. Tune in tomorrow when he'll be giving you the lottery numbers and which shares are actually going to rise.

The other view of this resolves less around AC's (that's Alberto Contador and not AC from operation Puerto) ability to see the future and more to do with a slow news day, or indeed a slow news week. As the road season draws to a well over due close there is little to keep the assembled news hacks busy other than thoughts of their hols and a round of beers at the Amsterdam six.

It will be interesting to see if the prediction does however come true, thats the Vinokourov one not the lottery numbers. It's known that he's still training and we can only suspect that he's invested in a new all black wardrobe for the purpose. So will he ride next year? I seriously doubt it, if he does intend to he has to notify the UCI of his intended return 6 months in advance, he'll then need to give it a further 6 months whilst uncle Pat stops laughing, so it's gonna be end '09 at the earliest. At which point the UCI will realise that he was never given the two year ban he so richly deserved. No I don't think we'll see Vino back in the peloton for anyone other than Rock Racing, who of course won't be here to stay in 2010.

Take me to your leader (Part 2)

In a move as unsurprising as AC's (that's Alberto Contador and not AC from operation Puerto) ability to see the future, Alien number 2 has admitted that he acted alone in his use of CERA. His personal manager, his team manager and even his dog new nothing of it. I can not begin to describe how upset I was by this confession, I was seriously hoping for an excuse that defied all logic and involved pet hamsters, a mystery 2nd cousin living in China and a mysterious doctor by the name of Glockenspiel. I think the UCI should stick an extra 6 months on the ban as punishment for a lack of imagination (this to be added to a further 6 months for being an ugly son of a bitch).

It will be interesting to see what happens come the end of 2010, will alien number 2 be looking to a return to pro cycling? Well I suspect that he will, he's not got much else in the locker and unless he has a sex change operation and takes up pole dancing in Munich there doesn't' seem much alternative. So 2010, what will the peloton look like? Will Lance still be coming back? Will there be a harder line on doping? Well of the 2 I suspect the latter will be more likely. The crunch may be over (ask Contador on that) and sponsors will be embracing cycling as a healthy, green, pollution free form of transport that enhances their public image and market share. (See sometimes it sounds like I know what I'm talking about, ha). So will there be a place for weird looking ex-dopers with no imagination?

And the winning number is....

As I have not been consulting AC (that's Alberto Contador and not AC from operation Puerto) I didn't win the lottery. but none the less found myself looking at very (make that, very, very, very, very) expensive houses, that are way (make that, way, way, way, way) beyond my means. You know how this starts, you're looking to move and you suddenly say 'hay, what if I had an unlimited budget?' From then on in it's all down hill.
So what I did discover that with a starting budget of £5m I could get the following, house - 1 very big, acreage - at least 100, swimming pool - 1, tennis courts - 4 and stables - at least 2. Throw in a couple of normal size houses for servants etc and you get you're average Yorkshire country estate. What did strike me was this; people who seem to have unlimited cash don't seem to have stuff that would interest me. OK I could convert the stables into a gym, but there was no mention of a Cyclo Cross courses on the estate, no details of XC or downhill routes across the parkland and not a hint of a personal velodrome. I then took part in a discussion with my non cycling 'other half' about the pros and cons of building my own personal velodrome in the event of winning big at the weekend. Just think, we could have watched 'Britain's got talent'.

Reasons to be grateful for Stefan Schumacher, no honestly.

If you were heading to the Manchester round of the World Cup and feeling a little down in the mouth about not seen Brad Wiggins riding, Stefan Schumacher can put a smile on your face.
Brad was scheduled to ride the Munich six with Eric (I once saw the letters E,P and O written on a sheet of paper) Zabel . But since Schumachers fine performance in totally buggering up German cycling there has been a sponsors withdrawal and as a result some of the 'more expensive' riders are getting the week off. Result Brad is at a lose end and will be turning the legs over at Manchester. Weh hey, that must put an extra few quid on the value of my tickets, not that I intend to sell them...... (Email address at the bottom)

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