Friday, 7 November 2008

The return of the king and the banning of the doggie position

And this time he's bringing his dog.

Every now and then in cycling an event happens that fills you so full of joy and happiness towards you fellow man that you can scarcely believe it.
Yes, I'm talking about 'the return' , no idiot, not that one, I'm talking about the return of the king, no, not him either, I'm talking about the return of the man who had a working relationship with a doctor of ill repute, no, look, once and for all, I'm not talking about who you think I'm talking about. I'm talking about the king, Mr Frank Vandenbrouke. Oh happiness, oh joy. Just when you think there are no characters in cycling along comes Frankie with talk of yet another return.

You'll recall that when our Frankie was visited by the forces of law and order in 2002 and his fridge was found to be bulging with EPO, morphine and clenbuterol, his excuse was that they were all for his dog. Well who am I to disbelieve him? The fact that his dog had just set a new world record for the pursuit of 4.10 is often overlooked (like the superman position the doggy position is now outlawed at velodromes).

So Frankie got banned and since that day he has made several comebacks, at each one his adulators have flocked to the call and rallied behind their man (I thought the doggy position was banned?). Yet despite the talk Frankie hasn't really set the world alight. Still we must salute Frank Vandenbrouke, he was the first cyclist to bring the surreal excuse into the world of doping, of course since then we've had the Tyle Hamilton twins and 'Whiskey a Go Go' (or Floyd Landis as he is known in the bible belt). But Frankie was a pioneer and for that and the unique brand of comedy he has brought to the world of cycling I for one will be continually grateful

The operation formally known as Puerto (or you can't keep a good dog down)

So the samples taken at this years tour of Portugal are to be retested, oh dear, tin hats on lads, incoming......

Portugal as you know is home to the remnants of the operation formally known as Puerto. When the Spanish fuzz riffled through Fuentes fridge they found more than moldy cheese and sour milk, they found the names of several pedigree hounds, no doubt all preparing for Crufts.

As a result a shout of 'head for the hills' was heard in the peloton and pretty soon there was queue of 'champions' offering their services at knock down prices to various Portuguese teams, who of course took up the offer. Now it looks like the chickens are coming home, not to roost, but to crap all over the place, ah, today just gets better and better.

Actually it's worth pointing out something here, Fuentes was quite indignant that only the names of cyclists have been released, and stated that he had also worked with tennis and football players.
Of course the great and the good from those sports have made sure that it's a case of 'no name, no pack drill' and now the operation is closed we may never know the extent of their involvement.

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