Wednesday, 28 January 2009

When is a comeback not a comeback.

Comeback my love....

Everyone is talking comebacks, but what is a comeback? The Cambridge definition of a comeback is as follows:

1) it becomes popular again after being unpopular for a period of time.
2) a successful attempt to get power, importance or fame again after a period of having lost it

Whilst at they offer:

3) a return to a former higher rank, popularity, position, prosperity

4) Informal. a basis or cause of complaint: If you insist on buying these pointed shoes, you'll have no comeback when your toes start to hurt

So lets look at the three most high profile comebacks in cycling:

Lance Armstrong:
Well he was both popular and unpopular at the same time, often with the same people and if anything, his fame grew whilst he was away from cycling, glamorous partners, a global campaigner and so on. So for the Cambridge definition Lance is simply not making a comeback, he never lost his fame or indeed his popularity. And for Er, nope, Lancey boy was already in a position of high rank, popularity and prosperity, so that one's out. Now I've had a good look at his shoes and those Nikes seem more rounded then ever.
So I think we can say that with a score of 0 out of 4 Lance is not making a comeback.

Operation Puerto:
Unpopular? Only within certain dark and dank recesses of the cycling world, loved as the new hope by many, Puerto was never truly unpopular. Lets be honest here, after a brief flirtation with fame Puerto failed badly, it was never likely to have that much power and importance, there were too many vested interests and too many lawyers involved for that to happen. So it's a no comeback from the Cambridge.
Prosperity? Well Puerto never made the rich list, all it had in it's property portfolio was an old fridge with someone else's blood in it, not the mark or untold riches if you ask me. Nowadays Puerto rubs by on handouts from a friend in Luxembourg, so no riches there. High fashion? I've read the Puerto report and let me tell you, it was boring, so in order to alleviate the boredom I tried it as a hat, not so good, it fell off, so I tried it as a pair of shoes, rally, really uncomfortable and it didn't keep my feet dry. So on the come back from it's a score of 1 out of 4 for Puerto, no comeback here either I'm afraid.

Floyd Landis.
Well today's the day that former ginger biscuit makes his 'return' but is it a comeback? Floyd says it's not, but is he right?
Becoming popular after a period of unpopularity, don't make me laugh, as far as I can see there is zero chance of the Ginger one ever becoming popular again. Successful? Successful? You don't need a crystal ball to predict that whilst Floyd may get to the finish, or indeed even do a few reasonable rides 'success' will be a visitor that never bothers to call.
A return to popularity, prosperity and position? Oh how my sides ache. (that'll be a no then?). Which leaves Pointy shoes? Maybe Floyd should have changed careers and gone to work in the local shoe shop.
Comeback score 0 out of 4.

So there we have it, proof positive, indeed dictionary proof positive that Armstrong, Landis and Puerto are all definitely not making a comeback. After all, have they been out of the news over the last three years?


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