Thursday, 18 June 2009

Doping is finally beaten, hurrah.

The war on doping is finally won, hurray for the brave lads at the UCI.

After years of tough hand to hand combat the war on doping has finally been won! In a shock announcement yesterday (shock in that it was actually made) the UCI have announced that that the evil of doping has finally been defeated and we can all sleep soundly in our beds tonight.

The forces of evil have been finally booted out of cycling land and we can once again ride our bicycles freely, safe in the knowledge that the rider who has just beaten us in the race has done so because he has UCI approved water in his bottle and nothing else.

Who are you? Who are you?

Now I thought I was a bit of a cycling anorak, I thought I knew just about every pro rider there was. But the UCI have finally beaten me by pulling out of their hat's not just one rider you've never heard of, but a whole bloody peloton full of 'em.

Igor Astarloa - Won the world championships, apparently. His victory was accompanied with much shoulder shrugging and shouts of 'Who?' and 'Yeah, right...'

Pietro Caucchioli - Best result? Er...... 75th in some race or another.

Riccardo Serrano - Rides for Fuji-Servetto! That'll be the same Fuji-Servetto who are talking CAS for not being allowed to ride the Tour this year then. Their arguement is that they are all clean and so should be allowed to ride, next please.

Francesco De Bonis - A member of the Gerolsteiner team that was attempting to beat Festina for having the most doped up riders on their books, sadly the sponsor jumped ship before the final count.

Ruben Lobato Elvira - Once rode with Saunier Duva, Oy, Fuji - that's why you're not riding the bloody Tour! Do you get it now?

So what of all the other riders that like a little hot medicene cabinet action then? Does the UCI honestly expect that anyone in their right mind will actually believe that rounding up a bunch or riders that aren't even good enough to be classed as has beens, will convince us that the War on doping is won?

Still one thing that has happened is the Anne Gripper has come out of the wood work. Anne has been interviewed by CN and tells all about life in the trenches.
Apparently the UCI have been working hard on the passports issue, yep sounds about right to me. Hard to find riders that don't have expensive lawyers of big PR machines in tow. Hard to find riders that no longer ride.

Are you dead?

Who's next? The PĂ©lissier brothers? They sound like likely candidates don't they? They have admitted to doping and they are dead and so can no longer sue the UCI, so ticks in boxes there then!

Still, lets not scoff at the UCI they have done a fine job in ridding our sport of the evil of doping, hopefully world peace and an end to hunger are next on the list, I'll get my gun ready then.


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