Tuesday, 3 November 2009

A plastic bottle cider and a packet of nuts.

Sod me, the bloody UCI are at it again, non?

So the UCI and AFLD are at each others throats again, each claiming that the other is shit and couldn't run a doping control if their life depended on it.
According to the AFLD the UCI testers were far from discrete at this years Le Tour. apparently their secret arrival at team hotels were heralded with the sound of klaxon and the man from the UCI shouting down a megaphone 'We're here for your blood, we're here for your blood', of course the UCI have responded with the claim that AFLD only took blood from hotel waiters and chambermaids.
Now I think the AFLD must be confusing the UCI with some other dope testing organisation, perhaps some other organisation who at a recent world masters in OZ selected a medal winning rider for testing, only to change their mind and go and find someone else when said rider couldn't find their racing license or any proof or identity.

Bend over and feel the force!

Still Uncle Pat is all for equality with in the sport, so it's inevitable that riders and fans should all get shafted in a fair and equal manner.

The UCI have excelled themselves this year, their recommendation to make changes to the Olympic track programme is sanctimoniously brilliant and a load of bollocks.
Obviously women and men should have exactly the same events, so why has it taken the IOC and the UCI this bloody long to realise this and do something about it?
But instead of expanding the programme we lose as many events as we gain and this a is apparently good for our sport.

But never mind, Uncle Pat has announced this is because 'people want to see exciting racing' so out goes the individual pursuit and in comes the Omnium. The IP was pretty straight forward wasn't it? I mean I don't have a PHd, but I could grasp it, everyone rides and the fastest 4 go into the medal ride offs, rider against rider, fastest wins, er pretty simple that. So that's out and the Omnium is in, even I dont' know what events will make up the fecking Omnium and I spend most of my waking hours at the bloody track, how the hell is Joe and Josephine public going to get excited by that?

Never mind though, because even though the brave new world now contains the Omnium the UCI have failed to include it in this years world cup. Christ you can tell Uncle Pat is not a trackhead, you really can, he obviously thinks that by somehow having a single event made up of a points race, a scratch, an IP, a Kilo and a 200, he is somehow sneaking a whole load of extra events into the Olympics without the IOC realising what's going on

Having the Omnium in and the IP out is a bit like the Athletics losing the 400m because there's a 400m in the decathlon. Brilliant.

I'm so excited, I'm so excited.

No really I am, riders leaving teams and going to other teams, sponsors leaving the sport and sponsors coming into the sport, riders getting banned for doping and riders getting unbanned for doping. It's really been a poor year fro those of us with a psychotic hatred of dopers. Now I don't mean that the 52 or so that have been caught with their pants down and the proverbial up their jacksey, oh no any doper getting caught is IMHO a bloody good thing. No, what's pissed me off is the feckers keep coming back, yes, yes I know they have served their time, I know they are all innocent and I know that it was all a mistake. But it really is taking the fecking piss when vinokourov, chicken boy and that twat Ricco are all either back with us or on their way. For some reason this unholy trio repulse me even more than Schumacher and Kohl. Still 52 this year, that's a bus full.

A bus full, what's he on about? Well, I used to work with a guy who when someone pissed him off would return to the office and say 'they're on the bus'. One day I asked him what this meant and I received the following explanation, a bus / coach has 52 seats on average, when someone pissed him off he would imagine them sitting comfortably on the bus and when he had a bus full he would imagine it plunging over a 200 metre drop and crashing onto the rocks below killing all inside.
Now whenever I read of another dopeer twat being caught I reserve them a place on the bus.


No comments: