Saturday, 20 December 2008

I'm buying Stefan Schumacher a dictionary for Xmas

My dear, dear friend, Stefan Schumacher has blood that's different to the blood that you and I have. Well OK I can't prove that for sure, but it's how I'm interpreting his stance following his highly comical legal action against the whole of France.

You see, dear reader, that the process of taking blood from someones arm, finding CERA in it and declaring that person to be 'dope taking cheating scum' (apologies if my translation from the French isn't too good) is according to the master of mirth "arbitrary" and "defamatory". Maybe Schumacher should be investigated for more than CERA, maybe he's been at the mind bending substances that fueled the average 60's hippy, there can be no other explanation, well OK there can, maybe he hasn't got a dictionary. What is arbitrary about the test? Schumacher was selected to be tested using the same procedures that any other rider, and you don't hear them complaining. Defamatory? How does that work then? Anouncing the results of a dope test is not in my humble view defamatory, well no more so than announcing the results of anything. Perhaps we should all just watch races and at the end have to guess who's won.

Still to help Stefan get some practice with his new dictionary I'm going to suggest some words he can look up.....


Would be a good place to start.

And so the French anti twat agency (sorry anti doping agency - AFLD) sat to consider the cases of (sorry laugh at) Ricco, Kohl and Deunas. The results won't be known until the holidays are over. There could be a number of reasons for this, maybe it's the way the French work, long lunch, long holiday, that sort of thing, maybe they are preparing their defense if they get a counter claim from the the three, or maybe they just wen't on the beers and won't sober up until January? Whatever the reason I hope they get the full 6 year ban from France and, fingers crossed, a few more nights in the cells.

None of them bothered to show up, with only Rico sending a lawyer. Whether this was a tacit admission of guilt or an act of unbelievable arrogance is something I can't work out. In a way I'm glad they didn't bother to show, as the inevitable media scrum would have given them a chance to whnge about innocence and pressure before the cameras.

On the House.

Elk Haus is continuing supporting a team for 2009, it's a small continental professional team, with 16 riders, so no big deal? Well maybe it is, Elk Haus have been around for a while and supporting 16 riders plus staff isn't cheap and considering their product, they make houses, you'd be forgiven for thinking that they might have put the wheels back in the garage. So their management is to be congratulated on continuing their support, it's especially refreshing when you realise that they are based in Austria and most of their races are in 'that neck of the woods' or the door step that Kohl and (allegedly) Schumacher have shat on.

Is that wheel round?

Having stripped the rear hub on my training wheels I am now in the market for a new set. Bit of a mine field eh? So far I've spoken to five riders and had five different suggestions as to what I should buy so I'm confused. I'll be honest here, my interest in bike components is low to say the least. I started racing in the early 80's and despite all those years and all those miles have yet to get past the stage of vague acquaintance with components. Oh I know all the names, I can even look at something and tell you if it's Campag or Shimano (assuming I can see the brand name) but when you get to advantages and disadvantages of one over the other I'm lost.
I can quite happily strip down, clean and repair anything you throw at me, but make an informed decision about what to buy, nah, no chance.
So thank God for my LBS, a little haven where they offer sound advice, help and never ever try the hard sell.
The only criteria I have for a set of training wheels is:
1) they are wheel shaped
2) there's one for the front and one for the back
3) the back one takes Shimano 9 speed (I never use more than one anyway (trackie at heart))
4) they can take 'a hell of a beating'
5) price - on the low side please


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