Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Don't eat yellow snow.

Cadel Evans? No he can't come out to play.

Lotto seem very unhappy with young Cadel, apparently he wants to stay at home in May, but his nice uncle Roberto want's him to go outside and play with the other boys.
Cadel isn't happy; 'I want to stay at home and play with Molly.' says Cadel, 'But uncle say's I have to go out and ride my bike, it's not fair'
Damiano has threatened to send Cadel to bed with no supper if he doesn't do as he's told, he's also pointed out that new signing young Thomas likes riding his bike and he's a good boy who does what he's told.
'Thomas is never any trouble and will always volunteer to ride his bike without upsetting anyone.' said Damiano.

German dopes.

A group of specialist German sports lawyers had called for all dope testing to be scrapped. In a statement issued today the 'Sports Lawyers for even high fees group' have called testing anachronistic.
'Whatever the result we are always called in to clear up the mess, it's a thoroughly profitable, sorry I mean unpleasant business.'
The lawyers went on to argue that money could be saved by scrapping testing, picking riders at random and saying they had failed drug tests.
'We have calculated that the percentage of riders that will admit doping will be the same whether they are tested or not, so if you remove the expense of the procedure there will be even more money for us, sorry, even more money can be saved.'
They went on to add, 'Look it's going to finish up in the courts whatever happens, so it's about time the UCI bit the bullet and got us involved right from the start.'

Today's the day.

That Kohl, Ricco and Duenas are all up before Le Beak. Yes it's the day our trio of fun seekers get to stand before the French Anti Doping Agency (AFLD) following on from their positive tests for being 'Twats' . The possible sanctions against them could include banning them from French territory for up to six years! Which would go a long way to ending their careers as cyclists. The only negative is that each will be allowed to bring along a 'friend', and as you'd guess the 'friend' in question will be one of Europes finest legal minds. So it is likely that this will drag on and on and on with no end in sight until we all lose the will to live.

Sadly Schumacher and Piepoli will not be in attendance, Piepoli is still claiming that the tests didn't happen and Schumacher is still protesting his innocence. Schumacher is of course threatening to sue the entire French nation for finding him guilty of doping, no matter that he has a list of past misdemeanors that would make the dead question his innocence, he is in his eye's as pure as the driven snow. (not that yellow show though.)


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