Friday, 12 June 2009

A man can only take so much.

Yesterday I watched the Eurosport coverage of the Dauphine. Now in my time I have heard (as I'm sure we all have) commentators talking a right load of old shite, by yesterday surpassed all previously low expectations. Valverde was 'proving his critics wrong' apparently. How was that then? By going back in time and not taking fecking dope in the first place? or by not emptying his arm into bag number 18, or not sticking said bag in Dr Deaths fridge?
No seriously, please tell me 'cos I'd like to know how someone who has been clearly linked to doping and banned in Italy is proving critics wrong by riding his bike up a fecking great mountain. Eurosport, it's about time you got the P45's out, it really is.

Still, as bernard kohl would say, on a lighter note....

The Tour Series (UK towns and cities only) is turning out to be the best series of crits ever seen on these slightly overcast shores. This week they came to my neck of the road and I trotted of to Blackpool and Southport, for a fun filled standing on the barriers type experience.
As they say the racing was 'full on' and even 'fast and furious', but what has been tickling my trout is the development in team tactics.
The TS title is awarded to teams, and so it's your first 3 riders across the line that score you points and as a result teams are trying all sorts of ways to get points and as we all know 'What do points make? They make Hugh Porter mention the name of your team several times in every sentence and thus cause you sponsor much excitement and wetting of their pants' that's what point make!

As always bringing the racing to the city entices a whole new crowd and it is with this whole new crowd in mind that the event programme translates some popular cycling phrases into 'person in the street English',....

BUNCH: A group of cyclists or cycling administrators. Usage: Why can't that bunch of tossers at the UCI get anything right.

Sitting on: When a rider or administrators drafts behind another rider or group. Usage: Why can't those tossers at the UCI stop sitting on their arse and actually do something useful.

Palmares: A cyclists or administrators CV. Usage: 2009 - The UCI missed an opportunity to crack down on doping. 2008 - The UCI missed an opportunity to crack down on doping. 2007 - The UCI missed an opportunity to crack down on doping. etc.....etc....

More dopes

Yet another of Katusha's finest fails a dope test, and just to stress that they are doing all they can to combat drugs in cycling some of their riders refuse to sign a new anti doping policy.

Still it's a tough life being a pro cyclist, you must be knackered all the time, so spare a thought for poor Ivan Basso who since his little holiday seems to be going a lot slower, bless....

And Kohl? Apparently he's not been beaten to death yet, still there are a lot of pissed of Frenchmen outside his house

1 comment:

simonlamb said...

I couldnt agree more with your Eurosport comments. I've wached the giro and the DL this year and am constantly amazed at the mess they make of their scheduling commentary and broadcasting. well said.