Monday, 6 July 2009

It's Cav, in Lime Green !

The Fruity joys of the Tour de France.

So how was it for you? Was it the best you've ever had?
Hats off to large Fabian, who bucked a decade of fashion failure to keep his black shorts on whist wearing yellow, who says the Swiss have no style?

But whilst we sat in amazement, agog and aghast at Swiss style someone was touching CAV, I'm sorry I'll read that again, according to the Guardian 'Piet Rooijakkers' 'could not help touching Cavendish' Oh errr missus.

Is it just me, perhaps it is, perhaps I need new Specs, but does this years green jersey look a bit more, well, a bit more line green than ever before? Is this some sort of subtle rebranding on the part of ASO? Are they slowly changing the colours of all the jerseys? In 10 years time will we be faced with the Magnolia jersey for young riders? The Pink Poker dot jersey for best climber? The lime green jersey for points winner and the pale Canary jersey for overall winner? That would puncture a few egos.

Remember kids: If you see a floater flush it away.

Now it transpires that through my letter box drops Pro Cycling mag (or Winning for the 21st century as I like to call it) and I have to report that it has gone pretty sharpish into the bin. Not that there's anything wrong with the fine publication, the problem is it contains references to Hein Verbruggen. In fact PC has Verbruggen as the third most powerful man in cycling!

Now let me just run though who Verbruggen is more powerful than:
He's more powerful than 'Big' Dave Brailsford
He's more powerful than Anne Gripper (and just as elusive if you ask me)
He's more powerful than Bob Stapleton
He's more powerful than Mr Shimano
He's more powerful than Vaughters or IOC boss Rogge
He's more powerful than the Poundster or John Fahey
and he's more powerful than Doctor Death.
He's even, and get this, more powerful than Cav, how is this one possible?

And whilst we digest the above (and reach for the ingestion tablets) we should ask exactly what this power is built on.
Is it built on going on holiday whilst the biggest drugs story ever to bugger up out sport hit the front page? (The story was Festina and the holiday destination was India)
Is it built on saying that riders who spoke out against drugs were weak and lazy?
Is it built on denying that there was a doping problem in cycling?
Is it built on taking exactly sod all action to fight doping in the peloton?

Now PC offer 'Unsubstantiated rumours' that he has 'plans to take over the tour or even the whole of professional cycling'.
Now before you start screaming and run out into the garden to bury your bikes, burn your Lycra and take up golf I will point out that these are 'rumours' and that there are 'rumours' that Hitler is still alive and living in South America, so we should take these with a pinch of salt. Although having said that I have put my ear to the ground and off in the distance I too have heard it suggested that Verbruggen is planning a come back.

The thought that Verbruggen could have anything to do with cycling, other than using his bike to ride to the local shops fill me with a horror that could only be matched if I found out I was related to Stefan Schumacher. I firmly believe that one of the reasons why we as a sport are right up the creek of shit, is down to Verbruggen's tenure as head clown at the UCI.


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