Tuesday 18 August 2009

When I asked for a blood sample.......

Cycling it would seem is not the only sport where madness is high on the agenda, Rugby Union also seems to clock up it's fair share of strange events. Dean Richards of Harlequins has been banned from coaching for 3 years for his part in a 'fake blood scandal'. Of course Rugby Union is nowhere as good a sport as cycling and this 'scandal' is proof positive.
Fake blood? Fake bloody blood? Bloody fake fakey bloody blood? Call that a scandal, in cycling we don't mess about with fake blood we use the real thing, gallons of it, your own blood, someone else's blood, blood from a fridge, blood from a clinic, blood from a Spanish doctor. And we don't just splash a few drops on or lower lips on no, we mix it with anything we can get our hands on, EPO, CERA, Testosterone, speed, recovery drink, coffee, lard, sometimes we mix the whole lot together and down a few pints before the morning training run. Fake blood my arse, call that a scandal?

Latest transfer news.

It's been confirmed that AC (That's Alberto Contador not AC from operation Puerto) is not moving teams, that is unless he moves teams. He will apparently stay at Astana and ride as personal assistant to the proudest son of Kazakhstan Alexander 'Me? I've just been on holiday for 2 years' Vinokourov.
Brilliant, if ever there's a contract that someone wishes he hadn't signed it must be Contadors, it was all going swimmingly, there he was main man in a team funded out of a county that had been put on the map by having the piss taken out of it. Still, he was number one and then? And then it all went wrong, up comes Lancey Boy and suddenly AC (That's Alberto Contador not AC from operation Puerto) is a number 2 and then just as he was thinking about leaving for pastures new some damn cycling official waves a contract under his nose and mutters something about carring water for Vinokourov (who as we all know only wins on water).
His only hope now is that Vlad the impaler gets a global ban, and gets sacked and thus allows C d'E to free up enough cash to buy him out of his contract.

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