Is Lance the new Dr Who?

Is Dick Pound considering a comeback?


In a 'shock' announcement today (That's shock as in we all new it was going to happen, just that no one dare say it) 'TVs' David Tennant has announced that he will be leaving the DR Who role at the end of 09.
Immediately there was a flurry of activity as the bookies started taking bets on who would take over. I of course have my own views on this news.

I think it's no coincidence that the post of Dr Who becomes available at a time when the 'comeback' season will be drawing to an end.
The Dr is, after all, one of the great survivors and has made at least 10 comebacks in his life. Surely Lance won't want to endure another season playing water carrier to AC (that's Alberto Contador and not AC from operation Puerto). So the position must appeal to him, OK so the Tardis is hardly up there with the latest Trek in terms of performance, but there's nothing a little tweaking in the wind tunnel can't fix. Also the chance to repeatedly save the world from alien invasion on a weekly basis is surely the next logical step in Lances career.

So who would be the Dr's assistant? Well Johan Bruyneel is hardly going to win any awards for glamor (unless he awards them himself) but when it comes to screaming and running away I think he has all the skills needed, after all spending time with Vino, the king of screaming and running away, must have had some effect.

So we have a man to save the world and a slightly dim witted assistant, but who would be the evil villains bent on planetary destruction? Oh so many to chose from, but if we're casting Lance as the Dr than his nemesis or rather his Davros has got to be Dick Pound. It's a match made in heaven. Dick Pound doesn't just come with a comic name (always good for a villain) but he was very good at scaring people to death, look at the effect he had on the average Tour de France peloton if he turned up unannounced, lot's of running to the toilet and looking for pet dogs. Now I'm no conspiracy theorist, but again our Dick, finds himself at a bit of a lose end as well, coincidence?



Famous BBC comics in prank phone call shocker.

It has been revealed today that two of the BBC's most respected broadcasters have been indulging in a little late night phone prankary.

It has been revealed that top BBC comedy duo Hugh Porter and Gary Sutton have been caught on tape making prank phone calls to respected veteran broadcaster Paul Sherwen.

Porter and Sutton, famed throughout the broadcasting world for their madcap comedy approach to bicycle racing have allegedly made a series of 'rude' and 'insulting' calls to TV veteran Paul Sherwen.

Porter and Sutton, who's catch phrases include, 'What's going on?', 'Who's that on the bike' and the hilarious 'Nurse, it's time for my nap', allegedly made the series of calls late one night during their their midnight show 'Hand slinging for beginners'.
During the calls they suggested that Shrewen had 'never won a rainbow jersey' , 'spends too much time down that bloody mine' and 'looks slightly confused when ever he's on camera' .

Much respected veteran Sherwen is said to he been hurt and insulted by the actions of the mad cap comedy duo;
'I'm hurt and insulted by the actions of the mad cap comedy duo' said Sherwen today.

The BBC has been snowed under with a total of 1 complaint (a Mrs Sherwen from Cheshire) and as a result have taken both Porter and Sutton off the air. Their late night slot will be filled by the up and comming young gun David Duffield who will present a show called 'Nuclear and quantum physics and theire applications in tyre inflation'

When asked to comment the Primeminister Mr Gordon Brown said 'helllllpppppp'.

On the road with farmer giles. (it's rhyming slang)

I'm trapped inside an invisible box!
Did you know that when Dave Brailsford was at college he was part of a theater group called 'The Brothers Coppi' who would reenact famous scenes from The Tour de France through the medium of mime.
This came to mind whilst reading an article on the great Maurizio Fondriest. Not only does Mauritzo produce a range of bikes, which I have to say are bloody gorgeous, he part sponsors a team and according to the article in question grows apples, not a couple of tress you understand, but a whole 'forest' of em, although the apples in question are golden delicious an apple which I have to say are neither delicious or golden. (Not being excessively patriotic here, but if you ask me you can't beat a good British apple).

Farmer giles, never popular with cyclists.

Still all of this proves, in a slightly vague way, that our hero's have lives before and after their cycling related activity. Although some have less of a non cycling life than others and some it appears have none at all. It's hard to imagine the mighty Sean Kelly doing anything other than riding his bike, having retired he still rides it seriously, he sponsors a team, one which he is quite happy to ride with and he commentates on Eurosport. Outside of that there are rumors of a farm, but where he gets time to drive the tractor is beyond me. Perhaps our Sean is a bit like the gentleman farmers of the 18th century, who would employ someone to do the farming, whilst they just cast an eye over the proceedings.

Bernard Hinalut still rides occasionally, although looking at his waist line he's not as regular as our Sean. But the badger keeps Le Tour company each year where he acts as a go-between twix stage winners and minor clebs at the end of the day. This however is just a small part of his le Tour related activities, his main job it would appear, is, as it was in his racing days, beating the living crap out of protesters. Now you tend to get a lot of those in France and credit to Bernard he shows no favoritism on this front, whether he agrees with their point or not he's always the first to wade in fists flying. You see in his retirement Bernard regards Le Tour as he did when he was winning it, it's his personal fiefdom, that he has no role, other than a purely symbolic one makes no difference to him, he's still more than willing to sort out any potential problem in the way he always has, long may he continue.

There was I, digging a hole.




Paul Sherwen hard at it in his gold mine.


So this inevitably brings us to Paul Sherwen. Our Paul seems to spend a lot of time commentating on just about every TV channel there is. Indeed one of the highlights of this years le Tour was Paul chatting away, whilst in the background you could hear Phil doing the same for another TV network, then in a piece of well timed timing, they would swap stations and pick up where the other left off! But as we all know he has a mine in Africa. Sometimes it's described as a plain old mine and sometimes as a gold mine. Whichever it is I suspect that there's not much digging going on as young Paul seems to spend pretty much the whole year from le Tour down under to the final classics yacking away on at lest four different TV stations. There is a rumor that one of the drivers behind 'the comeback' is that the investment Lance has made in Paul's mine hasn't paid off and as a result he's a few quid light in the pocket.