Who's on the naughty step?

Who's a naughty boy then?

Cycling has always been renown for the paternalistic relationship that race organisers and managers have for their teams.
So it's no surprise that the latest manifestation of fatherly feeling towards teams is happening at the Giro. RCS clearly feel that certain teams have been playing up by refusing to go to bed at the proper time and as a result they have told them to go and sit on the the naughty step for a while.

So who are the naughty children and who been well behaved?
Well Fuji-Servetto have clearly been wicked to a level that would test the patients of a saint. Last year they played up throughout the whole of their holiday in France, staying up late and shouting and screaming when asked to go to the doctors. So now they have to stick their bizarrely clad backsides on the naughty step for a few months, in-fact their banishment to the naughty step is a lengthy one, they get to miss Milan-Sanremo, Tirreno-Adriatico and of course the Giro, huuummmm, Mummy wasn't pleased was she. CSF Navigare have been banished to the step as well, last year they were very naughty, with little Emanuele Sella pooing in his pants on at least four occasions.

Of course not all the children have been sent to the naughty step. Cofidis, who in the past have been naughty, seem to have grown up a little, but as they didn't want to come out and play are staying at home, as are their French cousins Française des Jeux. The Spanish kids, Euskaltel-Euskadi get very travel sick and with the thought of driving across two mountain ranges Mummy and Daddy have decided to keep the family at home this May.

Which leaves us with Barloworld, who despite having three well behaved kids in Thomas, Cummings and Froom also had the naughty Moises Duenas who threw his dinner across the restaurant during last years French holiday and we all know naughty behavior is not tolerated nowadays. Still RCS have said if Barloworld are good for the next few weeks they might just be allowed to come out and play.

And so that leaves us with Flaminia Bossini Docce, the team of current National Champion Filippo Simeoni. Now as far as I know Filippo has been well behaved over the last few years. He may have a tendency to talk back to his perceived 'elders and betters', but that's only youthful exuberance. So why has he got to sit on the step come May? Maybe RCS are afraid that he might upset the posh kids that are coming from across the street, or Kazakhstan as it's known. And as we all know there's nothing parents hate more than being embarrassed in front the neighbors.

Getting the big guns out.

David 'BIG DAVE' Brailsford isn't happy. Oh no, at the paralympics GB may well have won 13 out of 14 gold medals available on the track, but for BIG DAVE, that's not enough.
'Not only did we miss out on on one gold medal', said BIG DAVE, 'But there were silver and bronze one's that we didn't win, it's outrageous and come 2012 we want to win every medal there is in the velodrome' he may have said.
With this in mind BIG DAVE has drafted in the Jason Queally (Gold at Sydney) as well as ex World Champion and 'other big Scots fells' Craig MacLean to pilot the team GB tandems. So will Jason be the first athlete to win Gold at both versions of the O's? You just kind of have that feeling don't you.

Meanwhile.

The bikes are cleaned, the riders are on their way and this weekend sees the cross worlds. I won't be there, but will be watching multiple live feeds via the web, even cutting short Sunday training to get back in time, good excuse eh?. Can't wait.


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Phone lines are now open for your calls.

Marks out of 10 please judges.

There is a rumor that there is set to be a major change in the way teams and riders are eliminated from major races and that these changes will be outlined by Uncle Pat when he announces the 2009 World Calendar this coming Thursday.

At the end of 2008 the UCI needed to regain credibility (titter ye not) with fans, teams, sponsors, jurnos, and race organisers. So they scrapped the 'Pro-Tour' and came up with the 'UCI Pro-Tour'. Now everybody is happy, the UCI rule the cycling world again, ASO, RCS and Unipublic have all bowed down before the golden throne and all cyclings problems are at a stroke, solved.
But the UCI ever keen to keep up with the times and in an effort to attract more armchair cycling fans have hit on a novel way of promoting the sport. Starting with the Tour Downunder riders will be eliminated from stage races not just for missing the time cut, crashing or failing dope tests, but also as a result of public phone vote.

Your call only costs 2 Euros a minute.

At the end of each stage a panel of experts will select 10 candidates, who will be scored on their contribution to the race, their riding style and their ability to execute certain predetermined tactics. Following the judges marking the phone lines will be opened up and the public will be allowed to vote on which rider will be eliminated. The experts for the first event of the season have yet to be announced, but it is thought that they will include, Frank Vandenbroucke, Michael Ball, Djamolidine Abdoujaparov and Tammy Thomas.

An unnamed UCI source has reportedly said 'The public vote will add and extra fun element to stage races, which until now had been boring and predictable.' He/She/It went on say that 'The added pressure will also act as a deterrent to doping and aid the UCI in their goal of getting richer, sorry, I mean getting a clean sport.'

More new races.

In addition to the ground breaking changes to race results it is thought that the UCI are also planning to unveil the new 'Tour de Russia' with the proposed date being 'all of May'. A (different) UCI spokesman has said 'the Russians are desperate to give us lots of money and we felt that the ideal slot in the calandar for a race is May, after all noting much is happening then is there? and anyway RCS have pissed us off, so up their's.'
The spokensthing refused to comment that the Tour de China was scheduled to take place in July with a top prize of a billion Euros, 'We have a very good relationship with ASO and would in no way introduce a race with a greater prize fund in an effort to bugger up the Tour de France.'

Shock new team anouncement.

Hold the front page, stop the presses. In a totally unexpected anouncement it has been anounced that British Cycling will announce that they will run a pro team in 2010 and that that team will have a major sponsor.

The team, it has been announced, will feature 'riders', some of whome will be British and some of whome won't.

In another shock revelation, sorry, announcement, it has also been revealed that the team will have a management structure that will include coaches.

As we went to press there was no anouncement about bicycles, but an insider has anounced that bicycles will be involved in the team and possibly ridden by the riders.

As yet there has been no announcement about Mark Cavendish, but it is thought that at some stage over the coming years there will be an announcement relating to Mark Cavendish and a team with a major sponsor.

More announcements as they happen.



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