Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Minder is coming back!

Cipollini to advise Cav?

What makes a great sprinter? Well according to Eric Zabel it's speed, Teutonic efficiency and the ability to bore your opponents to death. According to Mario Cipollini it's speed, Italian flair and a way with the ladies.
So how the hell did Cav finish up being advised by Zabel?
It's all well and good being the fastest man in the peloton, it's very well doing all that pointing business after you've won, but come on, what about making improper suggestions to the podium girls? Surely the ability to suggest an after dope test rendezvous in the team camper van whilst waving your 'bouquet' and blowing kisses to the press is the mark of a great sprinter?

What made Cipo more entertaining than Zabel wasn't the number of victories but the style, the showmanship and of course the after race interviews, most of which seemed to revolve on what was going on between his legs during the race and we're not talking that bloody Canondale either.

Here at On The Banking we're massive fans of the mighty Cav, he's a world class rider but we firmly believe that alongside Rod Ellingworth he needs to employ Cipo.
Rod may well give him a training programme that results in GT stage after GT stage, but Cipo can add that something extra.

Like any training programme the one Cipo would give 'our Mark' would start in the off season, building the 'base' and move towards specific goals during the major tours.
Off season / Recovery phase: Regular intervals of blowing kisses and waving at passers by.
Pre-Competition phase: Pointing at you 'gentleman's area' as you cross the line, whilst simulanously winking at the girls
Competition: Bounding up the steps of the podium (this time not falling over), picking up the bouquet, chatting up the podium girls, drinking champagne and waving the keys to the team camper van all at once - true multi tasking and the mark of a mighty champion.

Come on Mark, ditch Zabel, you know it makes sense.


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