Wednesday 29 April 2009

Schumacher and the Chocolate tea pot


In an announcement that shocked no one, well almost no one, it has been revealed that Mr Schumacher has been found to be cycling's 2nd result from the 08 Olympics.
Was it just me, or did anyone else thing 'yeah right....' when Rebellin won at Fleche? There's a lot of outrage going on, a whole lot of outrage shock and disbelief, er ....

When a cyclist get's caught with the contents of the medicine cabinet up their arse my first thought is, well my first thought is unprintable and indeed are my next 98 thoughts, but by the time I get to thought 100 I thinking 'I'm not really surprised'. There are some riders who surprise you when they are caught, but if I'm honest these are few and far between. Maybe I'm just too cynical?

Still the one good side to this latest 'outrage' is the Schumacher will no doubt be attempting to sue the IOC and the entire Chinese nation whilst trotting out his claims of innocence.

Actually there was surprising thing, Schumachers lawyer claimed that the traces or CERA found in Schumachers blood were a result of the EPO from last July still floating round in his system. Now hold on there, wasn't Schumachers defense over the summer that he'd never taken taken CERA? Indeed wasn't that defense offered by the very same lawyer?
Oh, there is one small thing that's worth pointing out here, that is that CERA and EPO show up differently in tests, they do not turn from one to the other once inside the human blood stream

Needless to say the IOC will do bugger all, as no doubt will the UCI. Uncle Pat has issued a statement, infact Uncle Pat has issueed the standard pro-forma UCI statement, it reads:

'Something has happened in the world of cycling, we don't know what, we don't know if it's good or bad, but just in case we'll wait for someone else to make a decision before we make any further announcements on the issue.'

Dear Uncle Pat.

Cycling Weekly have, via the pen of Lionel Birnie written to Uncle Pat asking him, well asking him what's going on. Which if you ask me is a bit of a stupid question, the assumption being that anyone at the UCI has the slilghtest clue what's going on in the world of cycling is a bit wide of the mark. Still inspired by this I to have written to Uncle Pat, although whilst the CW letter may well get read, I suspect mine won't, here's the text of the letter I sent to the UCI:

Dear Mr McQuaid.

Why don't you just shut down the UCI and open up a burger bar.

Many thanks and best wishes..... blah, blah, blah.

Still the war against drugs is almost won, the IOC are taking a firm line and have said that drugs are very naughty and that no one should take them, so that's all good then.

The Giro? Should I give a toss?

Like all GT's I tend to pay little attention to the Giro, there's nowt wrong with it, it's just that I have always believed that the serious racing season starts in September and runs through to the end of April, that is classics, cross and track. Anything else is just a training race.
I never used to be like that of course, up until 1998 I used to follow the GT's with a fine tooth comb, traveling all over Europe, watching the great, the good and the doped out of their heads do battle on the roads of Europe. Then we had Festina and whilst I'd still follow the GT's, after all they were bike races, I stopped chasing round Europe in the months of May and July.

Suddenly though there is a new mood of optimism in the peloton, or at least that's what we're being sold. A mood of 'no to drugs' a mood that is supposedly embraced by the younger generation. Now whilst I believe that this clean younger generation dirty older generation is bollocks (Redondo Ramos is what 23?, Kohl was 25 and Ricco the same). I do feel that the times they are a changing. And so I find myself getting excited about a GT once again, oh dear.

Of course this has been helped by a streak of nationalism that even the most Eurocentric cycling fan is sometimes prey to. And with Cav and the brave lads of the British Expeditionary force taking on Johnny foreigner this summer there will be someone to discuss on the Sunday runs. In addition this summer will see the unfolding of the great 'Who have Sky signed' game and lets face it, we all like playing that one. Actually if you want a Sky related game to play over the next few months you could do a lot worse that try to guess the name of the team itself, Sky +? Sky HD? Sky? Sky's the limit? Watch the darts on Sky? It's any ones guess.

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