Showing posts with label EPO. Show all posts
Showing posts with label EPO. Show all posts

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

Wash your hands before dinner.



Don't hire ex-dopers, use your own.

I'm shocked, totally shocked, shocked and stunned. It would seen that Kayle Leogrande of Rock Racing has been caught sticking the needle up his bum (that's using EPO to you and me).
That a rider of the fine and upstanding Rock Racing team should get caught on the juice is startling and surprising news.
Now you may not be up to speed on Kayle Leogrand, but he's the Rocker with all the tattoos, that it seemed was his claim to fame, his USP as they say in the business. Well we all know how Mr Ball likes a USP, sadly if you look at the Rocker roster there seems to be just one USP for the whole squad.

What made him do it? I dunno, perhaps it was peer pressure? Perhaps he didn't want to be the only one with out a criminal record? It can't have been for the event he was busted at, I mean no disrespect to the Point Premium Root Beer International Cycling Classic, but would a decent result in that race propell you into the hall of fame?

The most entertaining bit of the story though, is that prior to the test young Kayle smeared soap over his wrist in the belief that soap in the needle would somehow mask the fact he'd taken EPO. Now I'm no chemist (and obviously neither is Kayle), but even I know that as masking agents go soap is pretty low down on the list. It's a drugs test Kayle, it's not your Mum checking too see if you washed your hands before dinner.

So, where then for Rock Racing? Well there is no way they're going to leave the sport - remember they're 'HERE TO STAY'. And where to for Kayle? Well give it a couple of years and he can make a comeback, hey I know just the team that'll take him.

Brother can you spare a million Euros?

Bad news over at Mr 60% world, or the team formally known as CSC. It seems someones run off with the IT-Factory.
Saxo have said they don't want to be sole sponsor, does that mean that there's no more cash from them? or does it mean that they are expecting bad news and want someone to stand behind when the proverbial hits the fan?
Mr 60% seems confident that he will find another sponsor and I wish him well, for the sake of the riders and staff, if not for himself. But if he needs to cut costs he could do a lot worse that sack Kim Andersen.


Whilst Riis may well be a big cheese in the sponsorship world, the real big cheese, Milram, is talking about heading for the hills. With 2 years left on their deal the German dairy queens are looking to cut their losses.

How can this be? Zabel, Petacchi, surely all theses names would do a lot to enhance their public image? Perhaps they just need to put a different spin on the news. Maybe they could take a leaf ot of Michael Balls book, the more ex-dopers you hire the more publicity you get, I may not know what a Rock is, but I spend a hell of a lot of time talking about them.



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Sunday, 30 November 2008

Meths - not recomended as a refuling option.


This week I did something I haven't done for almost 9 months, I bought a copy of Cycling Weekly. Ye Gods, as they say in the surprised and disappointed business. It's worse than I remember it. (But then so's the weather, the beer at the local pub and todays youth).

Perhaps the worst £2.50 I've spent since I bought that training programme off the tramp that lives behind the bins at Asda. Mind you the only problem with him was that his suggested mid race drink was meths, which is currently on the UCI banned list.
I stopped my subscription a couple of years ago and now pick up, maybe, a couple of issues a year. The reason for my sub cancellation was simple, I felt it was no longer relevant to me, as it had basically stopped covering bike racing in any sort of detail, or indeed in some cases, at all. So 300 years of loyal readership ended.

Leaving it on the top shelf!

Most of the racers I know stopped buying it years ago as well and now it would seem that their sales target are met by sportive riders and those new to cycling or who have a passing interest in the business of riding a bike. Which is fine, I don't have a problem with that, but what I don't get is why they can't cover both sides of the tracks? Still what do I know.
I know the winter was always a slack time at the world centre of cycling news, Croyden, but seriously, 4 pages of photos that some bloke took of his mates riding Sportives, for God sake.

One of the reasons I bought CW in the past was to keep up to date with all the top cycling news, which lets be honest it never really did in any depth, if you were a Brit and racing on the European mainland you could be forgotten as quickly as last years crash.
Nowadays I can get all I need from the web and in more detail as well. Open up my RSS feeder each morning and there are dozens of exciting and hilarious stories to chose from.

Still that's the moaning about a magazine I never buy over with for the next 12 months, by the way did I ever tell you how crap Shed Monthly has become over the last two years? And don't even get me started on Central Heated illustrated or Hinge Weekly..........

Talking of Crap.

Mr Sella has been handed a one year ban, for, wait for it, 'co-operating' over his drugs bust. This will doubtlessly enrage Ricco, Kohl and Schumacher, which, come on, is the reason he's been given a shorter ban than they have.

No doubt the UCI and WADA have got totally pissed off with the collective whinging and never ending statements of innocence that the three have come out with over the last few months. The UCI can't extend their bans, so the next best ting is to really piss them off, and giving a one year ban to Sella, who has remained silent throughout the whole process, is a good way of doing it.

Diary Date.
This week sees the supposed release of the names of the riders who have funny looking scores on the old blood passport.
I was going to list the current betting, but my lawyer has warned me against it. But if you have a few spare minutes before now and Friday you could keep yourself entertained by drawing up a list and seeing how accurate it is come D day.

Personally I can't wait, anything that beats a doper is a good laugh in my book, baseball bat, lead pipe, boxing glove, UCI blood passport, I'll support anything that names new figures of hate.

Whilst I can't predict the names, I can, amazingly, predict what they will say, they will of course be:
'Innocent'
'Victims'
'Wankers'
Depending on your view and whether or not you happen to be an CERA dealer.



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Thursday, 30 October 2008

I can't believe it's not EPO. (A message from our sponsor.)



Alejandro Valverde proudly displays his new growth!


A message from our sponsor

Hey you, yes I'm looking at you, Mr Professional cyclist that seems to be going unexpectedly and prematurely bald.

Worried by premature hair loss? Concerned that certain elements of the media may be linking falling follicles with certain performance enhancing products?

Worried that your baldness is making you an unfair target for the vampires, when all you want to do is ride your bike?

Then try our new hair restoration programme:

From the company that brought you 'I can't believe it's not testosterone' (brand name EPO)' Comes the new wonder hair gel 'I can't believe it's not EPO' (brand name CERA)

Yes our new wonder product is certainly not EPO, inf act it's so not EPO that they won't be able to detect that you're using it.

Just one daily application of 'I can't believe it's not EPO' and within a week all your testosterone induced hair loss, sorry, I mean all your unfortunate hair loss nightmares will be a thing of the past.

(Also available for dogs)